Friday, April 24, 2015

Gone too soon...


~*Forever in our hearts*~

Uncle Stu, Kim & Brenton


Thursday, April 23, 2015

Wednesday, April 22, 2015


My new ink - like?
Image credit - Body Canvas Tattoo.

There on the eastern side just past the whistle post we had time to rest. Our travels though short had been long in time and the days and months and years had slipped by with ridiculous pace. We were worn and weary and our bones seemed to groan with every muscle movement. I turned and looked at her as the rays of gentle sunlight bathed the ground around us. Her eyes swirled with the essence of starlit heavens and I simply fell into them once again. I had fallen there every moment since I first met her, different times and a different world. Eyes of the light, there, just past that whistle post.

I have often thought of the bending of time, how curves fall away to rise again in sweeps of ticking moments. Destiny bends yet never breaks and ours remains entwined with the lightness of fingertips and the gentleness of breath. Time might tick to a relentless conclusion yet our travels sweep us away, forever together in the ever expanding universe.



Monday, April 20, 2015

Holding on to bitterness causes wrinkles

Holding on to bitterness causes wrinkles. 

That might be a lie. I don't know if it causes wrinkles or not. But I am quite sure that holding on to bitterness doesn't do you any favors. I knew someone once whose husband had left her when their children were primary age - teens. Whenever she spoke of her ex, and she did often, she always prefaced her comments with: "When Peter left me and ripped apart his children's lives". She never said, "when I got divorced" or "when my marriage ended" or god forbid the truth "when I confessed to REPEATEDLY cheating Peter left ME (not our children)". She always said "when Peter walked out on me for a younger model". I felt sorry for her because the bitterness was so thick you could taste it. She also had wrinkles.


Thursday, April 16, 2015


Can there ever be a moment when the eagles fail to soar
Or the mosses on the rocks just fall away
When the oceans fill with waters still
Reflections of the colours black and grey
When the ending ever story of the human side of life
Reduces to a trickle in a storm
When the sweet angelic voices of the choristers abate
And the roaring of the wind becomes the norm

There’s an answer to this question in the movement of the days
And the circled dance of Sun and Planet Earth
For as sure as romance blossoms and sustains the inner soul
The promise of emotion proves her worth

For there can never be a moment when I will ever love you less
Nor a moment when my heart will drift away
Nor a turning of the circle that holds us in this space
Where this love forever holds her sway

So certain am I thus of our lovers’ sweet embrace
Of the bonds that bind us through and through
That I promise to be here even when my end has come
To whisper just 3 words….I love you.



Monday, April 13, 2015

Maybe everything was meant to be this way...

The Universe may have f***** me over BIG TIME when it came to having kids. 4 miscarriages and almost losing Brenton when I was almost 7 weeks pregnant (a miracle that pregnancy continued given I hemorrhaged badly directly after my first ultrasound that had showed a viable pregnancy with heartbeat). But as my sister Jodie once said you may have only ended up with one child Kim but boy oh boy did you get a good one! The 'Little Golden Book' baby in looks and nature, a loving, gentle, funny, kind and thoughtful child who has always been a pleasure to parent, and now a 21 year old handsome young man whose depth of character and maturity belies his years. Mother's day is on the horizon. This morning Brenton told me that he wants to book/pay for my favorite Bed & Breakfast in the rainforest for myself and Heartpoet for two nights as my Mother's Day gift. To let him know which two days I prefer and he will sort his work roster around this so that he is not working those days and can better care for our home/pets as he works late shifts for the most part.

This mumma hen had grand plans from a very young age for 3 perhaps 4 children. However I have learnt that no matter how hard you try to plan your life - life has a plan for you all of it's own. A huge life lesson for me. Despite my lot in life my cup is forever half full, never half empty. Each and every day I give thanks that Brenton is part of my life's plan.


Wednesday, March 25, 2015

A Dance

If you've seen a dance before...if you've seen a dance called two human beings turning towards each other and supporting and caring and honoring each other then hopefully it's easier for you to then have that memory and maybe know that that dance is possible and reproduce it. You have some sort of resource - you know it's possible. If you've never seen that dance (that many of us haven't) and you don't even know what the dance looks like it's OK. Even if you have never seen what a good relationship looks like (I ended my first marriage) and you have had negative parenting (like I had) you can still turn and find a partner and you can still start to develop a loving bond. Oftentimes the longing for this connection is so powerful that if people get half the chance (like I did) even if they have never really seen it in action (and some part of their brains says it doesn't even exist), if they get half the chance they will risk and reach for it. And if they get a positive response they will risk and reach again. So even if you have had negative experiences in your past you can learn to do this. You can learn to trust and open up and reach and love. And when you do it grows you. It literally grows you as a person. People in secure relationships feel better about themselves, they have a more articulated view of who they are, they trust themselves more, they are more resilient if they face failure. 

History does not have to repeat.
I made sure of that.
I took back my heart -
no longer theirs to break.

The minute Heartpoet stood in front of me with his dance card I knew he was different. I could feel him tuning in to my mind/heart/soul. I could feel him moving, I knew what foot he was on and I just knew that he knew what foot I was on. It's about engagement. A baby is born with the need to be loved - and never outgrows it. We need to feel valued, we need to know we matter. If we call and no one comes we wither and die in a relationship. Sex is an act of coordination it's like a dance. Emotional presence and practice makes for very good sex. Sex without any emotional connection is like dancing without music. Making love to someone that you really love and are bonded with is the ultimate sex. If you truly know about love you are switched on enough to understand that a long term relationship is also about missing each others steps, stepping on each others toes (unintentionally hurting each other) and then turning back and falling in love again. Falling in love again and again in the same relationship throughout your lifetime.

December 2000 my inner voice whispered...
"It's time to take a risk sweetheart."
So I bravely...
Turned, reached and risked.
Stay true to your inner voice my friends.
It will lead you to your dream.