Brenton had a bit of a chat to Stu and myself earlier today. He started by thanking us for always providing him with everything he has ever needed in life and some. He thanked us for always being there for him and supporting him in his endeavours. He thanked us for loving him unconditionally and preparing him well for the big wide world out there. He thanked us for purchasing his car for him, helping him get his P's and supporting him in his new job that he loves. He went on to tell us that he loved us both dearly and had much to be grateful for with us as his parents. Hearing about his thanks and gratitude had me feeling pretty damn fabulous, my heart was singing. However what he said next made my heart sink to my sparkly sandals. He went on to tell us that our love, support and great parenting style over the years has prepared him well for the responsibility of renting a house with another couple (close friends) later this year or start of next. That his gf would likely join them (earliest for her the start of next year). He said that whilst he is more than happy here with us at home that the 'time was right' and he had us to thank for that - for preparing him so well! :-0
I nodded and smiled and gave him a soft squishy hug and told him that he always has a home here with us blah, blah, blah and that we would support him whatever decision he comes to re this. Brenton then left to meet his gf for lunch. As the front door closed behind Brenton Heartpoet's eyes met mine and my eyes started to leak like a garden sprinkler set on high. I have been a bucket of misery since. Don't get me wrong I am very content that Brenton is so well adjusted. Considering he is the product of a messy divorce I am ever so proud of him. I am not a pat myself on the back kind of gal but I must have done something right as he has grown into a fine young man that Heartpoet and I are so very proud of. If he was 29 (He will be 19 in August) and still at home I know I would have done something wrong lol. I get that this is healthy and a natural progression, I really do! For me it's more about empty nest syndrome. Brenton is my one and only. There are no baby birds left in my nest for me to mother to somewhat lessen the blow. A bittersweet time really if that makes sense. He will never know but today there has been lots of tears. Time will help lessen the sadness with this kind of thing. Just ironic that my being a good mum helped move the process along a tad sigh. Pondering whether hitting the pokies and taking up drinking would slow the process down?! ha! (just kidding).
It reminds me of the first day he started primary school (but so much worse). He was well adjusted, happy, so ready and all smiles. I was all smiles on the outside also but came home and sobbed a million tears. A time of change and also no other littlies at home to focus on as had been my hope and dream.
This is a natural and healthy thing but today I am so very sad and that's ok that's normal and healthy too I imagine. A right of passage for him and myself - and one that I will no doubt get used to.