"Life is a roller coaster just gotta ride it..."
Life Is A Roller Coaster - Song Lyrics
Living with someone who suffers from depression and anxiety is very much like being on a permanent roller coaster. Moods swing and dip often without warning. The person you love dearly can become someone you don't like very much at all. At times hyper and irrational with no obvious care or concern for your (or anyone else's) thoughts or feelings. They do things they normally would not do, say things they normally would not say.
Ronan *swoon* makes the roller coaster sound like one long joyous ride. It's not. Whilst there are times of great joy there are also times of great sorrow. It's like being in a relationship with two completely different people. There is no point attempting rational discussion when moods are tinged a shade of inky blue - the wiring is such that it simply does not compute. Relationships before me crashed and burned. Love and my steely 'never give up' approach to life and love have kept me going thus far. Through thick and thin I am a 'rock' - providing a sense of stability and assurance - exhausting at times. As much as I try not to take the Black Dog personally there are days I despair and wish for a soft safe place to fall. Faith is my radar that sees through the fog. Faith is what makes life bearable, with all its tragedies and ambiguities and sudden, startling joys.
I am an ordinary gal. What is the adventure in being ordinary? It is daring to love for the pleasure of giving it away. It is about caring and sharing and giving and loving and a heart that knows of no other way.