Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Please wade in...


Good afternoon everyone! Heartpoet here, home today with my delicious Kimmie. This morning over freshly buttered pear/raspberry/banana bread and numerous cups of hot tea Kimmie posed a question my way re her recent blog posts 'Power struggles' and 'There is a field' . With boundaries in place and rope dropped Kimmie is starting to question whether the warm, loving, kind overtures we make from time to time (that are met with either stony silence or a torrent of vitriol) are in fact a wise idea. As per usual Kimmie is not thinking of herself in regards to this matter. Being respectful of the other parties wishes is Kimmie's  first and foremost concern. I feel people can often communicate one thing whilst in their heart of hearts want another ;). Kimmie also knows this to be true. As Kimmie crossed her gorgeous slender long alabaster legs and sipped on her tea (with her littlest finger perched ever so dainty and lady-like  in the air) she put it to me that perhaps (as mentioned in her recent post 'Forgiven' ) each time one of us thinks of this party we simply send love off into the Universe via our thoughts. Kimmie quickly went on to explain that this was of course not her preferred option nor did it mean the end. 'The Invitation' would always remain open Kimmie sighed.

At this point of the discussion I pipped in with my thoughts on the matter. Let me just say straight up that I 100% support/understand Kimmie's feelings in the above mentioned posts. Someone wrote to Kimmie recently saying "Hi Kim, Just wanted to let you know that your blog is such an inspirational place to be. You really do shine a light out into the world from your place on the web." I could not agree more! 

From a bloke's perspective and put into sporting terms I offered up the following. The grand old game of cricket comes to mind. I imagine having a tug of war in the middle of the ground and then suddenly deciding to retreat from the battle - you do need to have two continually opposing voices to have a continuing battle after all. So I drop the rope as Kimmie describes. I imagine then taking the rope and curling  it around the boundary of the field until it joins itself in a large circle. 

Here then is my newly formed strategy. Always stay inside the newly roped circle. Invite only those whom are respectful of your boundaries inside the roped off circle. As in any game of cricket, you will of course continue to hear taunts and chants from the spectators. However, know that you don't have to react, in fact most of the time you are too busy enjoying yourself in the middle to even notice them. This does not prevent you from straying close to the boundary and, being human responding occasionally (always in a polite manner) to the taunts. We are after all not perfect  - accept this of yourself however then focus on returning to your own enjoyable game in the middle of the ground.

So an answer to Kimmie's question posed. Focus on our own happiness and from that we can send some to others. After that? I dunno, I dunno, I dunno...although in quiet reflective moments I really do know. Kimmie is one smart cookie.

Drawing the drawbridge vs continuing to send messages of love and hope? 

Would love to have you wade in and offer up your opinion.


~*Heartpoet*~

  

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Draw the drawbridge Heartpoet.

Boundaries are key to healthy relationships. We can teach others how to treat us, but others also reflect to us how we treat ourselves (self-value), which is often a more subtle dynamic. Do you see how this creates a loop?

Have read this post and all posts in mention and I agree with you, that Kimmie of yours is indeed one smart cookie! Continue to send love off into the Universe as she suggests and always hope for change.

Regards

Caroline